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However, before we move further, I want to pause and explicitly state the important thing nearly all the men I surveyed said (which women seemed subsequently confused about): Men are not out for sex.As a whole, the millennial generation is the most emotionally in-tune generation of all time — especially the men, since it’s a departure from the past. While nearly two-thirds of the men I surveyed said they only needed to feel physical attraction to have sex (versus just 30 percent of women in the anonymous survey), that wasn’t the case. “From experience, and within my close group of five guy friends, we are looking for substance across the board,” one guy in his late twenties claimed.

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The sex-driven culture on campus often leaves the majority of young people feeling unsatisfied with their relationships, and doesn’t exactly exist in a vacuum; it sets the stage for intimacy and dating after college, too.Most women who’ve “dated” on campus have been burned at least once or twice by bad intentions, which makes them wary of guys for a long while after.Most guys grow and mature emotionally as they enter the workforce and actually learn to date in the real world (completely different from campus culture).One guy summed it up simply; although this should be obvious, I think women still feel outside pressure to move faster than they’d like: “If you want to build a relationship with someone, it’s OK to say no to sex,” one man explained.“See if the guy sticks around.” We’re not reinventing the wheel here; this age-old tactic is still the best tactic if you’re not sure how emotionally invested he is.

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